Some of the #blindcontour drawings I've made in the last month immediately after meditating. I've decided to do another month of mindfully exploring mental and emotional states in relation to my experience of being embodied. As always this is about process not end results, about seeing, breathing, connecting with the moment - and enjoying myself enormously by just playing
Drawing ourselves, our faces, our bodies too, can be a transformative way of coming into a different relationship with our physical form. We are in the habit of looking at ourselves so harshly. We gaze in the mirror and often see only the bits we don’t like, that need fixing, or shoring up, or holding in, or combing over. Really, by the time we’ve finished looking, we’ve obliterated ourselves in a flood of thinking thinking thinking about our bodies that actually has nothing to do with what’s really there, and is the very opposite of loving-kindness or self-compassion.
So how good are you at letting-go? In my last blog I wrote about my own experience with this, and explored in particular the idea that trying to solve the problem of holding-on with our minds, by willing ourselves to let go mentally or physically – come on you must, do it, relax! – was actually counterproductive. After all, it’s our minds that do all the holding on; controlling, pushing away certain experiences and chasing after others, sorting and sifting life, judging and fearing, trying to make things run the way we want them to.
Sometimes, by the end of a writing day, I can feel like I’m nothing more than a brain that thinks, a pair of eyes (overly large) that stare at a screen, and two sets of fingers – glued to a keyboard. I get the image of some lamp-eyed creature, a writing lemur, perhaps, with prehensile fingers splayed over keys. If it’s been a particularly intensive session, then those fingers can be quite sore and achy too. Yes, like many writers, I suffer from RSI. And yes, like many writers, I can get so caught up in my writing that I forget that I have a body and not just a mind that writes. So how can mindfulness help writing bodies?