Intimacy is the offering of our life in trust to life...
And how hard is this to do at times?! This idea that we could just surrender to the great glorious messy painful joyful impermanence of it all - it flies in the face of fear, of holding on, of controlling. And yet when we make the offering, when we let go in trust - when we soften our resistance even a little, then inevitably we suffer less and are more happy.
There's a lot I've been resisting recently. Every day is a lesson in offering my life in trust to life. Sometimes it's hard. Actually mostly it's hard because I currently have a LOT of resistance and there's some challenging stuff happening. I'm not judging that, it's how it is, it's how I am. However each moment I manage to practice offering (even imperfectly) is full of more beauty and connection and love - so much intimacy, in other words.
Resisting, not trusting, is always a symptom of fear. We can find this fear, this lack of trust inside our body simply by becoming mindful of where we are contracted, where there is a sense of holding or holding on, instead of openness. When we find these tight, fearful places, then all we need to do (all - ah, sometimes it's everything and it's hard) is soften towards them. We don't try and banish them. We don't try and fix them. Or argue with them. Or counsel them. We simply - as much as we can - soften the body and soften the mind towards them.
When we do this - when I do this - I generally find that a warm more open space opens in me, and from this space I am able to offer myself more to life, to the experience I am having, even if it is hard. And when I do this, it becomes a little less hard, and gradually I trust and offer more. And so it goes.
If you'd like to hear more of Susan Murphy Roshi's teaching then check out the Zen Open Circle on SoundCloud.
I read so many things that inspire me and give me pause to reflect and come to new understandings - so this blog is part of a regular series of quotes and reflections. Do share your own thoughts and reflections in the comments below.